Why focusing on being "recovered" is the worst thing to do.
Have you ever heard of destination happiness? It’s the concept that happiness lies somewhere else and once you reach it, then you can be happy. For this post, the destination is RECOVERED. “Once I’m recovered, I will be happy, love myself, be free of food obsession, confident, and fully live life”. Sound familiar?
Sorry to burst your bubble but… Recovered is not a destination.
Recovered, if anything, is a feeling. A feeling of FREEDOM, happiness, and love.
Besides, how would you know when you’re "recovered"? Is there some type of checklist? When do you cross the line from being in “recovery” to “recovered”? Who sets these standards?
Although it’s awesome to start recovery and move forward with life, you don’t want to spend your entire existence heading towards a goal that truly is never ending.
Recovery is a lifelong journey of becoming in touch with the real you again and then continuing to make your happiness a priority. Recovery is not just about peace with food and loving your body, it’s about opening yourself up to so many OTHER aspects of life.
Your needs and interests will constantly change. One week you need to be alone while the next you need an abundance of support and human interaction. This is how life will always be.
To be rigid and think that “recovered” is a place where we behave, feel, and think a certain way, is impossible. Because how we behave, feel, and think is forever changing.
How you’re truly going to succeed is to do two things:
1. Celebrate mini victories
2. Bring joy into your life daily.
That’s it, easy. A victory could be as simple as not bashing yourself in the mirror this morning. Something that brings you joy could be jamming’ out to your favorite song from high school on the way to work.
The truth is, any step forward is still a step forward.
Change your focus from this overwhelming destination (that doesn’t actually exist) to the small moments that add up to the big changes. That’s what matters most.
YES, this takes some conscious effort.
YES, this will feel hard at first.
YES, this will get easier.
To think of recovery as a beautiful, life long process, where you continue to find new things that make you happy and discover your true self sounds so much more fun, doesn’t it? To know it’s not a race, that you can take your time, that it’s individual to YOU, feels so much lighter.
YOU HAVE TO BE IN IT FOR THE LONG GAME.
Maybe this sounds too good to be true, but can you honestly do anything but put effort into the day you’re presently living in? YOU CAN’T. So whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, like you have “so far to go”, bring yourself back to the present day and focus on those two things. It will change everything. Promise.